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5 Creepy iPhone Apps Designed Specifically For Jerks

There are more than 750,000 applications on the iTunes Store. It takes a lot of effort to create a decent mobile application, and it costs quite a bit too. So, every entrepreneur who spends money and time on transforming his app concept into a real app does a lot of research. One of the things he does is identifying his target audience.

When you look at some of the strange applications on the iTunes Store, you wonder about the sales logic that drove people to build such a ridiculous application. But what may appear weird to one may seem perfectly usable to another. Any app that sells well is a good app for the people who build it. Let us take a look at five insane iPhone apps that seem to target an audience that consists solely of manipulative jerks.

The Passion App

People like to rate themselves. That is why thousands of websites offering IQ tests, personality analyses, and quizzes are doing well on the Internet. Human beings are naturally curious about how good they are in the bed. The standard procedure for people curious about their performance in bed is to ask their partners to rate their performance and offer suggestions for improvement.

But such a simple and common method may not be satisfying to a particular type of man. For such a specimen, The Passion App is godsend. This app uses accelerometer and microphone to scientifically rate his performance in the bed. It takes in account the duration, the sound of the orgasm, and the amount of total activity to quantify the performance. And, yes… users can share the results on a leaderboard, just like they share their scores for games!

Breakup Notifier

No, this is not an app that jerks use to signal the end of their relationship. It is an app that notifies the user when the people he has added to the app change their relationship status on Facebook. At first glance, one almost feels sorry for the unrequited lover who is sitting alone in a corner, hoping and waiting for the girl he loves to break up.

But such a man would not need this app. This app is for the predator that will, perhaps, add every woman in his Facebook network to the app and eagerly await good news of their break up. This app will help him pose as a sympathetic friend and increase his chances of getting the broken-hearted target in his bed.

Badabing

This app calls itself a social image recognition app. Its stated purpose is to help the user find ‘beach or pool pics’ posted by his friends on Facebook. What it really does is look for scantily clad images that people have posted on Facebook. It may be natural for people to check out images of Facebook friends; after all, the people who have posted the images know that their photos are visible to friends.

But what this app does is use image recognition technology to look for skin and compile an album of such images. To ensure that no one mistakes the purpose of the whole exercise, it also allows the users to bookmark images they like.

Superstud Blackbook

Launched by a popular ‘youth channel,’ this application aims to be the wingman for all aspiring ‘studs’. It targets those men who want help with dating. A few years back, fellow cads would help each other do their dirty deeds, but with this app wannabe jerks can find tips, tricks and information for scoring with women.

Not only does it provide the user with a list of locations where he could find ladies with low standards, but it also gives him information on what cheap gifts to buy and where to buy them. In case the user is not very imaginative, it also furnishes him with a few pick-up lines and offers a bunch of excuses for standing up his date.

Creepy

Jerks may not be violent, but they are predators. They need to stalk their targets in order to lay traps. Creepy helps them take full advantage of modern communication technology to work out the exact location of ladies they are hoping to score with.

This nightmarish (nightmarish for rational women, wonderful for jerks) application used Twitter, Facebook and other social media feeds from the accounts of the target (actual word used in the app!) person to pinpoint her exact location. In case this does not work, it supplies the user with a list of probable location where the target may be found, estimated on the basis of places they mention regularly on their social network.

Written By

Samara Hayden is a professional iOS app developer and has worked on many iPhone and iPad application development projects. She loves traveling and loves visiting places that are miles away from civilization.

6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. myles

    February 7, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    Haha , great list . But you know Breakup Notifire is my personal favourite , it is just awesome. 😀

  2. Steve Morris

    February 7, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    So unbelievably creepy I had to tweet it. Hope no jerks are reading my tweets!

  3. Evan

    February 8, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    Oh Jeez, who would need such things??? Well, from one hand it’s quite funny but I’m not sute that jerks who downloaded these app won’t delete them after first check, like i didi))LOL

  4. Daniel

    February 13, 2013 at 9:42 am

    Lol. Nice post! I think I should recommend this to one of my jerky-berky friend. One more I would like to add on the list is iVomit which is quite ghastly app. It makes you feel like vomiting. Once you have tapped the green button, you will hear the appropriate vomit sound and will also be able to see come vomit on your iPhone’s screen. Check it out! 😛

  5. Sperry

    March 7, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    Breakup Notifier, lol … now there’s an invention

  6. R

    May 4, 2013 at 5:01 am

    You know, pretty much all of these apps can be used by girls too, not just guys. Females can be jerks too.

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