Planning a funeral can be one of the hardest things we ever have to do. There is so much to plan and so many people to inform. Then you put on top of this stress all the emotional pain and stress you are going through, and you set yourself up for one huge panic attack.
However, you need to remember that it is okay if you need to take a step back, calm down and breathe. There will be many people along the way that you will meet that are there to help you in your time of need. There are many arrangements that can also be made ahead of time to help ease you or your loved one’s stress.
Here are a few of the arrangements you may want to consider ahead of time to ensure that your loved one’s or your wishes are carried out perfectly:
- General Preparations. This includes things like obtaining their personal information for an obituary, knowing if they would like any donations to be sent to charities in their name, what they would prefer to do with their jewelry (should it remain with them or be sent home with family) and which funeral home they would prefer to use.
- Funeral Home Services. There are many different options you will have to decide upon when you choose your funeral home. Does the deceased prefer to be buried or cremated? Would they need a burial plot or a burial vault? Which casket or urn should you purchase? Where will the service be held, and what type of service would they like? What type of memorial register, memorial folders or acknowledgement cards should you purchase if any?
- Funeral Ceremony Preferences. Do you want to set up a day where the family can view or visit the deceased? Who should you invite, and how do you inform them of the services? Should it be open or closed casket? What type of flowers do they prefer, and should there be a picture displayed? Are there certain religious or other ritual items they would like displayed? What would they prefer to wear, and what songs, hymns or music should be played? What type of scripture or literature would they like to be read?
- Funeral Service Participants. Who will be the officiator of the funeral? It could be you, another friend or family member, your priest or minister or the funeral director. Who will perform the music or sing during the service, and who will read the eulogy, scriptures or literature? These could have more than one answer. You may also want to decide on who the pallbearers will be ahead of time.
- Special Funeral Service Transportation. If you are having a separate funeral and graveside burial service, you will have to decide on any special transportation. How many and how many different types of cars do you need to rent? You will have to decide on a funeral coach and family limousines. But, do you also want to lease a clergy car, a limousine for the pallbearers or a special flower car? You should also to consider renting some police escorts to escort you from the funeral to the graveside service to ensure that everyone in your party arrives at the same time.
- Gravesite Selection. You or your loved one can decide upon which cemetery to use ahead of time. You will need to decide upon any type of headstone or grave marker you may want and what you would like to put on it. You also have the option to go ahead and pay for the plot or burial vault and the headstone or marker of their choosing. Many cemeteries will usually allow you to pay using installments to pay off these items ahead of time, which can help ease the cost of the funeral.
Unfortunately, there will still be some things you will need to consider that you will be unable to arrange ahead of time. You will need to arrange for an ambulance to transport the body from the place of death. You will also have to apply for a death certificate and a burial permit and send a request for the preparation and embalming or cremation of the body. You will need to set a time and date for the visitation, funeral and burial services and finish composing the rest of the obituary. Many also like to have a place set up to have a reception and some even serve food there, so you may need to find a place for this and decide and maybe even order the food to serve.
It can be a difficult time trying to honor someone you loved and giving those around them their last chance to say goodbye. While it is an important event for many, you should never let the event overshadow your emotions. If you need help, do not be afraid to ask for it. There will be plenty of people around you to give you a helping hand should you reach out to them. If you ever feel overwhelmed, take a break. Remember you can take baby steps, and the service will still turn out fine.
Article by Mobi Medical Supply
May 31, 2018 at 2:34 am
I like how you point out that it’s okay to take a step back, calm down, and breathe. My best friend’s mother died a few days ago, and my friend is having a really hard time dealing with it and trying to make all the funeral plans at the same time. I think it would be really helpful if she could have a professional get all of the planning going so that she doesn’t have to stress so much. She really wants the headstone to be perfect, since it will be the most lasting thing. Maybe that would be a good place for her to start.
December 16, 2019 at 11:46 pm
I like that you mentioned the proper organizing of the ceremony and the preferences to think of in funerals. That could be a nice angle to ponder on in order for extra fees and to collaborate with people nearby. In any case, we would need proper funeral services to help us bury our Jewish uncle.
April 20, 2020 at 11:00 pm
My aunt is thinking about getting some help because she has to plan a funeral for her Grandfather and she really wants to do it right. She could really use some help to put together the funeral and get some professional help. I liked what you said about how he may have decided about what kind of cemetery and it can be the place that he wants.